I’m tired of it; I’m tired of keeping quiet. I’m going to say everything, and I don’t care if you read it or not because it’s in English, I don’t give a single flying fuck. First of all, I lost one of my oldest, dearest friends because of the guy I kind of dated during summer; the same one that dumped me without giving me a clear reason why. Because of him too, I believe, most of my friends from my school, the group that came to be last year, began to distance themselves from me. They might deny it, say that I’m crazy and paranoid; that I’m seeing things where there’s none. But I don’t fucking care about their opinion or point of view, it doesn’t matter. The only view that matters it’s mine. Another friend of mine stopped responding to my messages; because she was busy studying or another reason I don’t fucking know ‘cause she hasn’t talked to me since the summer. On top of it all, my favorite band is about to break up (if you think this is not a big deal, fuck you; you don’t know shit). So right now my life is looking pretty grim, with almost no real friends and with a family that’s only it by meaning.
Excuse-fucking-me if I seem too selfish and don’t take into consideration the other people’s lives and problems, but I’m sick of putting everyone before myself when none of them do the same. And why should they, right? They don’t fucking care, so why should I? I want to be happy; I want to think that I deserve to be happy, even when everybody else is treating me like I don’t. Because otherwise, I might as well just kill myself. So I’m only going to appreciate those who didn’t cast me aside, the rest can go fuck themselves for all I care. I give them my affection and friendship and this is how they repay me? Screw them; I’m going to concentrate on keeping myself happy. After all, as of now I only find one reason to keep living; one source of happiness, and I’m going to exploit it to no end. I’m done with all of this bullshit; with all of their bullshit. I don’t deserve this; I haven’t done ANYTHING to deserve this. And I’m not going to complain or demand anything because I know that they’ll just take me into account so they won't feel like assholes. So fuck them and fuck all of this. My new friends might turn their backs on me like most of my friends did during my whole life, but right now they’re making me feel happier and more included that my other friends, the ones who came first but don’t seem to give a damn about me anymore.
I’m tired; of feeling lonely, unloved and being unhappy. I’m done. If you’re looking for me, I’m probably thinking about or hanging out with the only person who’s been the nicest to me in my entire life, and not because he felt obliged or had a need to; the one who welcomed me with open arms even when I hardly tried to be a part of his life. I didn’t ask for anything and gave little also, but he offered me so much in comparison. #ElGallagher, you truly deserve my love and attention; you and the other few who still pay me attention and haven’t shunned me.
Peace out, bitches.
